Lights down.
Lights down.
Orchestra or piano plays the introduction to 'The First Nowell'.
Dark on stage. Then light grows.
Fred, a shepherd, runs on. He sees the audience and runs off again, calling:
FRED: Hey! They're waiting! It's time to start!
Light grows stronger. We are on the hill outside Bethlehem. Enter the SHEPHERDS, who arrange themselves and look expectantly up at the sky.
FIRST SHEPHERD: When are they due, then?
SECOND SHEPHERD: Shouldn't be long now.
THIRD SHEPHERD: It's the right kind of night for them. All starry.
FRED: There's something wrong, though. Can't think what, but there's something wrong.
Enter EVERYPERSON at a distance. She stands watching them.
FIRST SHEPHERD: They'd better come soon. I'm getting cold.
FRED sees EVERYPERSON.
SECOND SHEPHERD: Are they usually? I mean, angels? Are they generally punctual?
FRED goes over to EVERYPERSON.
THIRD SHEPHERD: I don't know. I've never been in on this kind of thing before.
FRED: Excuse me. I wonder if you could tell us.
EVERYPERSON: Tell you?
FRED: How long they'll be.
EVERYPERSON: They?
FRED: The angels.
EVERYPERSON: How long they'll be?
FRED: It seems a reasonable question to ask. On a night like this.
EVERYPERSON: It is not a reasonable questions to ask! (Marches over to the shepherds) You're not supposed to be expecting! It's a surprise! 'Fear not' and 'Mighty dread' and all that! Go to sleep or something. Look after your sheep. (Returns to her corner, muttering) Would you believe it - just sitting there, waiting...
FRED: Go on, then. Like the lady said. Sleep. (FIRST SHEPHERD does) Look for lost sheep. (SECOND SHEPHERD does) Mend your crook. (THIRD SHEPHERD does)
Enter GABRIEL behind EVERYPERSON and tugs at her sleeve.
GABRIEL: Pssst!
EVERYPERSON: What? Gabriel! For heavens' sake!
GABRIEL: Are they ready?
EVERYPERSON: You're as bad as they are! Ready indeed. You come when God sends you, not when they're ready!
GABRIEL: All right, all right. I just come on - suddenly?
EVERYPERSON: Suddenly.
GABRIEL: Oh. (exit)
The THREE SHEPHERDS give up trying not to look expectant and begin to chat. FRED is still trying.
FRED: Oh! Look! There's a lost sheep! I must go and rescue it!
He goes off one side, and GABRIEL comes on the other. The SHEPHERDS take no notice. Lighting grows over GABRIEL.
GABRIEL: Er - hum. (louder) Er - hum!
EVERYPERSON: Louder.
GABRIEL: ER HUM!
FIRST SHEPHERD: Look!
SECOND SHEPHERD: What can that be?
THIRD SHEPHERD: It's so bright!
FIRST SHEPHERD: I think it's a -
SECOND SHEPHERD: Yes it's an -
THIRD SHEPHERD: Angel!
GABRIEL flaps the gold-edged wings.
THIRD SHEPHERD: Er - archangel!
GABRIEL: (suddenly playing the part properly) Fear not, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
While GABRIEL is speaking, other ANGELS come and stand round, and we hear Handel's 'Messiah': 'And suddenly, there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God and saying, Glory to God in the highest'.
GABRIEL: For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you: you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
At the end, the other ANGELS go off.
FIRST SHEPHERD: Amazing! Marvellous!
SECOND SHEPHERD: We'd better go, then, hadn't we?
THIRD SHEPHERD: Where did the angel say? City of David?
FIRST SHEPHERD: That's Bethlehem.
SECOND SHEPHERD: Down there - look - at the bottom of the hill.
THIRD SHEPHERD: Great! Let's go and find the Saviour!
They go off, exclaiming, 'Think of it - a baby!' 'What's swaddling?' etc.
EVERYPERSON: That was terrific, Gabriel. You can do it, when you relax.
GABRIEL: Was I good? It felt good.
FRED rushes back on.
FRED: I had to go right over to that cliff bit there, and the wretched thing was stuck in a thicket.... (looks round) Where have they gone? (to EVERYPERSON AND GABRIEL) Excuse me, you two. There were some shepherds here. Did you see where they went to?
GABRIEL: Bethlehem, I think....
FRED: You're an angel!
EVERYPERSON: An archangel.
FRED: You're Gabriel.
GABRIEL: Nice of you to recognise me.
FRED: You've been? And told them? And they've gone?
GABRIEL: Yes....
EVERYPERSON: Bad luck.
FRED: I've missed it?
GABRIEL: It - um - seems like it.
EVERYPERSON: Disappointing for you.
FRED: I can't have! I can't bear it! They've all had it - that great moment - and the only one who's missed it is me!
GABRIEL: I could do you a re-run? I don't know if I can get the other angels back....
FRED: I don't want a re-run! I want the real thing! It's not fair - I've missed it - (cries)
GABRIEL: I would have waited if I'd known, really I would.
EVERYPERSON: Stop carrying on like that. You're not the only one who's missed it.
FRED: I am! Off they go to Bethlehem without me....
EVERYPERSON: Now listen to me, young man. See that lot, out there? (the audience) They have to live the whole of their lives without seeing angels ever. They say their prayers, go to church sometimes - anyway, they try to lead a good sort of life, on the whole. You'd think they'd get a visit from an angel occasionally, wouldn't you, to give them a bit of encouragement? But no. Not a flicker of an angelic feather.
GABRIEL: Must be disheartening for them. No wonder they have a jamboree every Christmas, to set themselves up for the rest of the year.
EVERYPERSON: So stop moaning, shepherd. Anyway, there's something you can do.
FRED: Really? What?
EVERYPERSON: Think of a carol for that lot (the audience) to sing while this lot (the cast) get ready for the next bit.
FRED: Choose a carol? I know which one! 'While shepherds watched'.
EVERYPERSON: Everybody knows that one.
GABRIEL: Our baby angels have a joke about that. They sing 'While shepherds washed their socks by night'.
EVERYPERSON: Gabriel! Don't be so irreverent. Isn't he awful?
FRED: Dreadful. (to audience) All right, everyone? 'While shepherds watched'.
Accompaniment, then everyone sings.